During a fraternity party at a West Coast college in 2016, a drunk boy and an equally drunk girl went into a bedroom. Two freshmen noticed them go upstairs. They rounded up several other students and found the couple. One student, flanked by the rest as backup, said to the boy: “Hey, dude? You can’t do this.” Another student offered to walk the girl home.
The students who thwarted a potential crisis were neither women nor members of a sexual assault awareness group; they were freshman members of the fraternity that hosted the party. They had been counseled by their chapter president, who told me this story, that it was their mission to prevent sexual assaults and to treat women right.
Americans demonize fraternities as bastions of toxic masculinity where young men go to indulge their worst impulses. Universities have cracked down: Since November 2017, more than a dozen have suspended all fraternity events. But I spent more than two years interviewing fraternity members nationwide for a book about what college students think it means to “be a man,” and what I learned was often heartening. Contrary to negative headlines and popular opinion, many fraternities are encouraging brothers to defy stereotypical hypermasculine standards and to simply be good people.
Consider some recent examples: In 2017, brothers in Beta Theta Pi at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln invited officers from several sorority houses to a dinner where they talked about the experiences of being a woman on campus and the ways men could help to prevent sexual assault. Last October, Alpha Tau Omegas at the University of Maryland assembled 400 sexual-assault aftercare kits that included handwritten notes of support. When Ball State University fraternity houses hung banners supporting consent awareness for Homecoming last year, Sigma Phi Epsilon declared it would continue to display its “‘No’ does not mean ‘Convince Me’” banner as long as sexual assault remained a campus problem. Last July, Christian Kahf, a former Georgia Tech student, was sentenced to 20 years in prison for rape; the case against him began when his fraternity brothers called the police in 2017 to say he had confessed to them.
Granted, extensive research has shown that all-male college groups like fraternities and sports teams tend to adopt more hypermasculine attitudes than the rest of the student population. In a 2016 study of 365 undergraduate males published in Psychology of Men & Masculinities, University of Michigan researchers concluded that fraternity members “are more accepting of sexual violence against women in part because they more strongly endorse traditional masculine norms” than nonmembers.
“Because masculinity is a status that men prove to other men, simply being in an all-male group may exacerbate pressure to uphold masculinity,” the study said. An East Coast junior put it this way to me last year: “We want the high-fives.”
But it’s wrong to assume that every all-male group is toxic. I found many fraternities offering a comforting family away from home, a safe space for guys who worried that it would be hard to be themselves or find friends in college. Fraternities centered on black and Latino students, and gay and transgender communities, also provide support structures that universities might not otherwise offer. It’s no surprise these institutions remain popular: According to my rough estimate, about 13 percent of male students enrolled full-time in four-year colleges — including those without official Greek systems — are members of social or cultural fraternities.
Boys still face pressure to be “traditionally masculine.” In a 2018 survey of more than 1,000 10-to-19-year-olds, two-thirds of boys reported either that society expects them to “hide or suppress their feelings when they feel sad or scared” or that they’re supposed to “be strong, tough, ‘be a man’ and ‘suck it up.’” As boys reach late adolescence, they tend to disconnect from their emotions and their peers. Yet they long for the close male friendships of childhood, said Niobe Way, a psychology professor at New York University. They increasingly worry that opening up, seeking intimate friendships and showing affection are perceived to be feminine behaviors.
This paradox can be particularly difficult for men in college: 55 percent “felt very lonely” in the past 12 months, according to the American College Health Association’s 2018 survey of 88,000 students.
“The initial transition is the most difficult part,” Dominic Fio, an Oregon fraternity brother, told me. “There’s an expectation when you first come in. All the college guys, though they may not be in reality, put on this facade of your typical college douchebag. As a freshman, if you’re not like that, it’s hard to find the people you fit in with.”
The fraternity — with its focus on membership and belonging — can change this mind-set. Many college guys I spoke to said they felt safe talking with brothers about doubts, sexual uncertainties and ideas about masculinity. A Midwestern student told me that he was plagued by anxiety after two women complained about his premature ejaculation. When he confided in his fraternity brothers, they told him there was more to “being a man” than sexual performance.
“Being able to communicate to other males about it was helpful,” he said. “I had this collision of the masculinity I had grown up with and what it was to be a man in college, the sensation of a frat bro. But my chapter didn’t have any frat bros. They wanted the gentleman fraternal man. They provided a good example of what it was to have this different sense of masculinity.”
Research that reflects healthy fraternities is rare, but it’s out there. In a two-year ethnographic study of a 68-member West Coast fraternity chapter, published in 2008, the sociology professor Eric Anderson found “a more inclusive form of masculinity institutionalized in the fraternal system: one based on social equality for gay men, respect for women and racial parity, and one in which fraternity men bond over emotional intimacy.” A member told him: “We expect our brothers not to partake in that macho jock mentality. We want to stand out as being intellectual and athletic, but also as being kind and respectful.”
In a 2014 study in the International Journal of Qualitative Studies in Education, the education professors Frank Harris III and Shaun Harper asked a national fraternity to send a questionnaire to its undergraduate members. From the 614 responses they received, they interviewed 50 young men who had challenged stereotypically male norms. These students, who came from 44 campus chapters, “consciously acted in ways that sought to disrupt sexism, racism and homophobia.” They confronted brothers who exhibited those attitudes and developed strong platonic friendships with women, as did many of the brothers I interviewed.
Professors Harris and Harper called these behaviors “productive masculinities” because they have been linked to better health and school engagement for college men. “Moreover,” they wrote, they “contribute to a safe and affirming campus community for all students.” The study participants said they behaved this way partly because they wanted to live up to the values of their fraternity.
Brothers in several fraternities described to me a weekly ritual called, “Good of the Order,” “Good of the Fraternity,” “Good and Welfare” or “Gavel Sessions,” during which brothers are encouraged to share their thoughts and feelings. An Iowa junior told me that in his chapter, which requires each brother to say “Love and respect” after his turn, a member confided to the group in 2017 that he was depressed and feeling suicidal. During the ensuing conversation, an older brother told the group: “It’s O.K. to cry. It’s O.K. to open up. You don’t have to ‘be a man.’ That’s just a societal thing that shifts people’s views and promotes harmful stress.”
The junior, who said he worried sometimes about being perceived as weak, told me: “That really hit home.”
Certainly, not all fraternity members are adherents of the “love and respect” doctrine. Between January 2010 and June 2018, there were publicly available online reports of approximately 2,130 incidents of university-recognized, national, predominantly white fraternities committing major violations of conduct or ethical codes. They included episodes of hazing, racism, sexual assault and harassment, violence, noteworthy alcohol abuse and deaths.
When my researcher and I analyzed them, we found that these events took place at approximately 1,360 chapters. Even if some additional violations went unreported, these bad actors still make up a relatively small percentage of the 5,600 predominantly white chapters and about 10,000 total chapters in the United States and Canada. The better news is that the number of violations seems to have been declining since 2016.
Fraternities that demonstrate a pattern of bad behavior should absolutely be shuttered. But what about the good actors? Few universities — or media accounts — distinguish between what academics refer to as high-risk and low-risk fraternities. Both exist. In a 2015 Sociology Compass article, Kaitlin Boyle, a professor at Virginia Tech, noted that on measures of sexual aggression, hostility toward women, and drinking frequency and intensity, members of low-risk fraternities did not differ significantly from non-Greek students. She concluded, “It is only the groups easily named as ‘high risk’ by students that contain the values, norms and practices that increase women’s risk of sexual victimization.”
Those are the chapters we see in the news, though they do not represent most fraternity members, many of whom told me they were sick of the stigma of being associated with what they called “rapey” students.
Colleges’ push to eliminate all-male groups is indicative of higher education’s overall dismissal of the needs of boys and men. Universities glorify the masculinity embodied in men’s athletics, largely ignore the emotional needs of their male students and then denounce “toxic masculinity.” But most aren’t providing the spaces or resources to encourage boys to learn about healthy ways to be men.
In a 2010 study, Professors Harris and Harper wrote that “student activities, resources, and courses offered on ‘gender’ are almost always about rape and sexual assault, empowering and protecting the rights of women.” You can’t prevent rape and sexual assault, however, without talking to, and about, men. Jason Laker, an education professor at San Jose State University, called “college masculinity” a “linchpin issue,” but said that student-affairs professionals are not “trained in this aspect of student psychological development, which is where the trouble is.”
In a 2011 call to action, the education experts Jim O’Neil and Bryce Crapser pointed out the fundamental problem: “The real challenge of the profession is to fully accept vulnerable college men are a special group that need our help and support.”
Today’s young men are coming of age at a time when we are renegotiating what it means to be a man, which presents new challenges, reopens old wounds and creates additional reasons for students to seek out brotherhood.
To promote a healthier campus culture, colleges could stipulate that all-male groups make their membership more racially and socioeconomically diverse, perhaps by offering scholarships to cover dues, which can range from hundreds to thousands of dollars a year. Schools could require fraternity members to attend a several-week course about healthy masculinities led by an outside party and workshops on violence and sexual assault prevention, which studies have found are more effective in male-only groups.
Rather than assume that every all-male group promotes misogyny, schools could support those that don’t. Examples abound. Christian Milano, a junior and member of Alpha Sigma Phi at Seton Hall, is working with a sorority sister at his school to create a sexual-consent education program for Greeks nationwide. Mr. Milano said he has “spoken with brothers numerous times on how to be active bystanders, how drinking culture plays a critical part in fostering an environment that encourages assault and how to be empathetic to victims of assault.”
Some chapters are going as far as they can to treat women as equals. In 2018, a Pennsylvania chapter of a Jewish fraternity changed its bylaws to start a “nonmember recognition program” that includes women, though national rules don’t allow them to attend chapter meetings and rituals. “I consider myself a feminist,” said Adin Adler, a senior and brother who championed the program. “We feel like, rather than a fraternity, we are a community of people.”
Alexandra Robbins is the author of the forthcoming “Fraternity: An Inside Look at a Year of College Boys Becoming Men,” from which this essay is adapted.
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2017年马会资料大全正版资料大全【将】【魔】【界】【的】【都】【城】【改】【个】【名】【实】【际】【上】【并】【不】【算】【什】【么】【大】【事】，【虽】【说】【修】【菱】【城】【这】【个】【名】【字】【感】【觉】【不】【怎】【么】【符】【合】【魔】【界】【都】【城】【的】【身】【份】，【但】【隗】【修】【想】【改】【名】，【他】【们】【也】【就】【听】【从】【了】。 【之】【后】【的】【百】【年】，【隗】【修】【又】【陆】【陆】【续】【续】【的】【下】【发】【了】【其】【他】【命】【令】，【在】【这】【期】【间】，【不】【是】【没】【有】【人】【想】【违】【抗】【隗】【修】【的】【命】【令】【行】【事】【的】，【但】【终】【究】【不】【了】【而】【知】，【也】【再】【没】【人】【见】【到】【他】【们】【那】【些】【人】【了】。 【自】【从】【隗】【修】【成】【为】【魔】【帝】【后】
【黍】【子】【和】【老】【夫】【子】【同】【是】【阳】【明】【真】【人】【的】【弟】【子】，【当】【年】【阳】【明】【真】【人】【险】【些】【将】【掌】【门】【之】【位】【传】【给】【黍】【子】。 【只】【是】【谁】【没】【有】【料】【到】【监】【狱】【里】【的】【妖】【皇】【逃】【走】【会】【和】【黍】【子】【有】【关】。 “【这】【位】【小】【师】【叔】【被】【逐】【出】【师】【门】【后】【只】【得】【沦】【为】【散】【修】……” 【宝】【玉】【望】【着】【陵】【村】【上】【空】【的】【剑】【光】，【眉】【头】【微】【簇】。 【段】【陵】【仿】【佛】【什】【么】【都】【明】【白】【似】【的】，【点】【着】【头】【自】【言】【自】【语】【道】：“【原】【来】【如】【此】，【我】【明】【白】【了】。”
【这】【一】【次】，【当】【刑】【杀】【再】【度】【朝】【着】【杀】【人】【无】【形】【俯】【冲】【而】【来】【的】【时】【候】，【杀】【人】【无】【形】【明】【显】【慌】【了】。 【他】【大】【喊】【着】：“【你】【别】【过】【来】”！【唾】【沫】【横】【飞】，【从】【杀】【人】【无】【形】【的】【视】【角】【里】，【映】【入】【他】【眼】【帘】【的】【不】【再】【是】【刑】【杀】【的】【模】【样】，【而】【是】【之】【前】【死】【在】【自】【己】【手】【上】【的】【那】【个】【军】【人】【持】【灵】【者】。 “【你】【真】【可】【悲】，【连】【活】【着】【的】【意】【义】【都】【没】【有】【找】【到】。” 【不】【知】【道】【为】【什】【么】，【这】【句】【话】【一】【直】【在】【杀】【人】【无】【形】【的】【脑】
【这】【个】【时】【候】【表】【哥】【猛】【然】【间】【就】【抬】【起】【了】【头】【道】：“【我】【怎】【么】【觉】【得】【现】【在】【应】【该】【跟】【老】【大】【打】【个】【电】【话】【呢】，【虽】【然】【说】【他】【现】【在】【比】【以】【前】【更】【加】【古】【板】【了】【一】【些】，【可】【是】【他】【的】【脑】【子】【绝】【对】【是】【够】【用】【的】。” “【要】【知】【道】，【平】【常】【在】【学】【校】【里】【边】【儿】，【我】【的】【脑】【子】【算】【是】【比】【较】【灵】【活】【的】，【可】【是】【到】【了】【大】【哥】【那】【儿】【总】【是】【有】【一】【种】【力】【不】【从】【心】【的】【感】【觉】。” 【这】【个】【时】【候】【表】【哥】【也】【不】【管】【众】【人】【到】【底】【是】【怎】【么】【想】【的】，2017年马会资料大全正版资料大全【男】【人】【低】【沉】【笑】【声】【从】【顾】【未】【眠】【的】【手】【掌】【后】【传】【来】，“【我】【知】【道】【了】。” 【顾】【未】【眠】【微】【微】【松】【了】【一】【口】【气】，【总】【算】【没】【在】【一】【天】【里】【把】【所】【有】【节】【操】【都】【掉】【完】【了】。 【她】【正】【想】【离】【开】，【却】【被】【霍】【砚】【一】【把】【拉】【近】【了】。 【二】【人】【相】【拥】【而】【吻】。 “【我】【爱】【你】。” 【绝】【非】【一】【时】【冲】【动】，【而】【是】【一】【世】【承】【诺】。 606【宿】【舍】【的】【人】【听】【说】【这】【件】【事】【情】【的】【时】【候】，【尖】【叫】【声】【惊】【动】【了】【整】【个】【八】【号】【楼】。
【滴】【嗒】~ 【滴】【嗒】~~ 【三】【滴】【鲜】【血】【滴】【落】【在】【晶】【莹】【剔】【透】【的】【三】【颗】【万】【吞】【九】【重】【珠】【上】，【瞬】【间】【水】【珠】【表】【面】【赤】【红】【流】【转】。 【即】【没】【有】【结】【冰】，【也】【没】【有】【被】【吸】【入】【水】【珠】【之】【内】。 【呼】~ 【余】【欢】【轻】【轻】【吐】【出】【一】【口】【气】，【看】【着】【旁】【边】【的】【幻】【狱】【情】【花】【道】：“【九】【戒】，【这】【三】【颗】【万】【吞】【九】【重】【珠】【你】【好】【生】【收】【起】，【若】【遇】【危】【急】【应】【该】【能】【帮】【你】【一】【点】【小】【忙】。” 【叽】【叽】【唆】【唆】 【骷】【髅】【花】【冠】